レスリー・ニールセン

Self (archive footage)

Kay

Doctor Nielsen

Uncle Albert Adams

Osama Bin Nielsen / Grandpa

Bill Austin

Dr. Rumack (archive voice)

President Baxter Harris

Caldo Vasco

President Baxter Harris

Jack Potter

Richard 'Dick' Dix

Santa Claus

Dr. Rumack (archive footage)

Self

Ryan Harrison

Mr. Penn

Mr. Quincy Magoo

Dick Steele

Self

Count Dracula

Harry Haber

Sgt. Buck Frobisher

Lt. Frank Drebin

Lucio Cinico

Leslie Nielsen

Self

Colonel Chi

God

Lt. Frank Drebin

Santa

Father Jebedaiah Mayii

Frank Drebin

Allen Green

Mr. Dunbar

Lucas

Fantoccini

David Everett

Captain Daniels

Richard R. Benson

Matthew Vail

Self

Lt. Frank Drebin

Richard Vickers (segment "Something To Tide You Over")

Mallory

Dr. Rumack

Mr. Hammond

Mayor Chester Montgomery

Doctor Whitfield

Commander John J. Adams (archive footage)

Hank Hardaway

Russ Blanchard

Dan Michaels

Paul Jenson

Self - Host

Self

Edward Brendon

Michael Hagar

Col. Buzz Brighton

John T. Connor

Captain Harrison

Vincent Corbino

A.J. Henderson

Peter Hamilton

Joe Gilbert

Weller Dane

Erich Strasser

Col. Dennis Malloy

The Phantom (segment "Phantom of What Opera?")

Brent

Rusty Bryson

SIA Security Man

Major General Ball

Sgt. Maj. Earl Conway

Hudson

William Russell

General Maximilian Harmon

Harold Cheyney

Martin C. Rowland

John Joslin

Self - Judge

Dr. David Cord

Paul Maytric

John Hagen

Cleve Mason

Harry Lightfoot

Mr. Grainger

Walter Burton

Harry Kleber

Bob Garrison

Lt. Price Adams

Alan Patterson

Sheriff Paul Rowan

Eli Becker

Norman Garry

Stephen Bedford / Johnny Bledsoe

Brian Conlin

Jeremy Dow

Ralph Mohr

Commander John J. Adams

Jess Trevor

Lloyd Ashley

Rudy Cox

Biff Loman

Self

Colonel Francis Marion

Col. Francis Marion

Harold 'Harry' Mason

C. K. Dexter Haven

George

Gates Holden

Self

Serge Soudekine

Stan Janicek

Chris Jackson

Dr. Clayborn

Dr. Roger Waring

Mac

Edmund

Tallman

Karl

Self - Host